Poor Yoko! Her name has become synonimous with breaking up relationships and she was blamed for the break up of the Beatles.   I lost my best friend to such a person.  I had known her for several years and helped her through the loss of her husband when he died of cancer.  I held her hand and hugged her when she cried, laughed with her. Loved and protected her.  I thought we would be friends forever.

When “he” came along, I tried to like him.  I tried.  He didn’t respect our friendship or the history that we had.  He belittled my place in her life as if I was just some person she ran into on occasion as some bar.

It’s true! One person can come along and ruin the energy and flow of a group. I’ve seen it happen many times.

It’s wonderful to meet that special someone. To fall in love. But remember that our friends are the ones who stand by us and are there especially when love turns sour.

We should NEVER allow a romance to take the place of the friendships that we have developed and nurtured over time. Our friends are the one constant thing that we have in life.

If a new boyfriend or girlfriend does not like our friends, that should be a big RED FLAG!  We should not allow ourselves to be isolated from our one true support system.  It can get lonely when all we have is one person in our life. 

Friendships can be ruined.  Friendships need nurturing and cannot be put on the backburner.  In otherwords, you don’t call your friends ONLY when your boyfriend/girlfriend is busy and you have nothing better to do. 

My friend would call me when her boyfriend was busy and then cancel if his plans changed. 

When she was with me, he was calling constantly and she would be talking “baby talk” to him on her cell phone while I sat there twittling my thumbs.  He didn’t like her spending time with me. 

A munipulative and controlling type of person will not embrace our friends.  Why? Because they can’t stand for us to show attention to anyone outside of the relationship. They are threatened and/or jealous if they are not the main focus!

Hell, they’ll think of reasons for you to get rid of your cat, your dog and your KIDS!  They’ll make labels for your friends and persuade you to get rid of them too!  If you have ANY friends left, they will be THEIR friends and nobody you knew before the relationship started.  Then “poof” you are all alone and isolated! 

Sometimes when love is new, we lose our focus of what’s happening. Just like ice cream and chocolate. It’s wonderful, but it needs to be taken in moderation. It’s the same with everything. Too often people get all schmoopie poopie goo goo ga ga and their whole world turns to shit.

I was once in a relationship with a man who wouldn’t even let me go to the bathroom by myself.  I was all goo goo ga ga over him in the beginning and guess what?  When we broke up, I had to load a u-haul all by myself.  I had lost touch with everyone I knew and not only that… I probably made them sick with the way I fawned all over the guy in the beginning.  I had no idea that several years later, I would not have a single friend to support me. 

I used to go out with all of my friends
we had us some good times I never thought they would end
But then I met you and I can’t forget the day
You convinced me to settle down and change my ways

All of my frineds stopped coming around and I started dressing the way you liked
Then one day I took a look in the mirror and it was then I realized

You’re my Yoko Ono
You’re the one who makes all the rules
You’re my Yoko Ono
and I’m just your fool